The Ultimate Guide To Woo Teresa Lisbon
by TheMandMs
Summary: ...or How Patrick Jane drove her insane. With the beginning of 2013, Patrick Jane's newest ambitious aim is to make Teresa Lisbon see how perfect they are for each other. See here, how his Ultimate Guide To Woo Teresa Lisbon works out.
1. Step 1

_1. Making sure she knows today is the day_

Patrick Jane was on a mission. Since New Year's was over and he'd made an important resolution, he wanted to start on fulfilling it and knowing it was going to be hard he had to get a move on.

Since his earlier plans had all not worked, mainly because he had been too much of a chicken to actually try any of them out, he had made it his resolution to win Teresa Lisbon finally over. But since the subject of his affections was a feisty one, he knew it would take some time and lots of work to succeed.

So he'd come up with a strict plan, timetabled and all, to woo her until she couldn't help but fall in love with him too.

The first step was to actually make sure she knew that today she was in for something. Since it was just a day after New Year's and she had finally three days off he saw this as his chance to put his plan into perspective.

Knowing her in and out, he knew about her early morning routine, where she was running and where she always stopped to stretch and do a little workout, so it was his plan to meet her there with coffee (out of experience he knew it was always advisable to let her have her coffee before she actually faced him) and talk her into a breakfast at a little, almost romantic bistro he'd found.

Satisfied with his first scheme, Patrick Jane walked happily to his car and made his way towards the park near Lisbon's apartment building. Buying himself a newspaper at the kiosk in the middle of the park, he sat down on the nearest bench and waited.

Looking around he noticed that many kids were there, skating or playing basketball, even if it just was a little after eight. Then he remembered they'd probably still a few days left until Christmas break was over and wanted to use their days off to have some fun after those many days spent with family.

Mesmerized, he watched a group of older kids on their skateboards. They were pretty good, jumping and turning and flying around, making this whole balance thing seem so very easy.  
There was a dark haired boy with them. He was remarkable because he was doing even better than his friends. His hair almost had the same color as Lisbon's and Jane instantly imagined what _their _son would look like. Would he have Lisbon's dark her and his blue eyes? Or rather the other way around? Or was it more likely for him to look exactly like his mother and having her lion heart but his father's mischievous spirit?  
Jane smiled upon the image of a little boy, looking so much like his mother and driving her crazy, touching everything and causing trouble but always charming his way out of it. It was a nice image to think about. A really, really nice one. And he as sure as hell was going to do everything to make this work out.

The need to drink something brought him finally out of his reverie and he noticed that the sun was almost completely up, which meant that Lisbon was late.

_Wait what? _

Lisbon was never late, never. The woman had made herself a very tight schedule and she was disciplined to no end.

Okay, he needed something to drink and then he would think of his next move. Because it was entirely impossible for Lisbon to drop her schedule there was just the possibility of her being hurt or worse.

Boy, he was going crazy. He shook his head. No need to panic. She'd probably just slept in for a few minutes or maybe her workaholic-self had figured she needed some paperwork from the office and she'd gone there first or something.

Jane got up and walked over to the kiosk where a tall guy was already standing, probably waiting for his cup of coffee. He was dressed in some kind of professional sportswear, so Jane figured he was doing this regular and intensive.

And then, suddenly, he could see a brunette figure running up the path. Her rhythm was constant, her strides long and precise and she was concentrating, but smiling.

His heart almost jumped out of his chest when he saw the thighs she was wearing and how very arousing they shaped her legs. Why the hell was she always hiding _those legs_?

"Hey man, you wanna buy something or what?" The kiosk owner obviously had called him already repeatedly and was now annoyed.

Hastily Jane asked for a bottle of water and a cup of water, taking it gratefully, and turned around to walk over to Lisbon.

His heart dropped when he saw she was running towards the tall guy who had been buying coffee just before him and kissed him on the cheeks before accepting the second cup of coffee Jane hadn't even noticed the guy buying in the first place.  
Almost shocked he watched as she laughed happily about something tall dark and handsome had said. A beautiful smile stretched her features and her emerald eyes sparkled merrily.

And then out of nowhere a basketball came his way, knocking effectively against the coffee in his hand and the hot, brown liquid splashed across his chest.

Cursing Jane jumped, already feeling the hotness on his skin burn and tried to dry the wetness a little with a handkerchief, as well as possible, and when he looked up again, Lisbon and her friend were gone. She had probably not even noticed him.

Step one failed.


	2. Step 2

_2. Make her smile_

Step two of his ultimate guide to woo Teresa Lisbon was to make her smile and that actually was one of the harder ones. Jane, always the optimistic one in this kind of situation, didn't let himself be miserable about his failed plan of step one and sat in a café near Lisbon's apartment building and thought about his next move.

Since Lisbon obviously hadn't noticed him earlier it was like that embarrassing incident in the morning had never happened and he could start over. He imagined her blushing cheeks and her sparkling eyes when she'd finally figure out what he was doing. Her shy smile when he would gently take her hands in his and bent carefully down to press a soft kiss against those lips which had been haunting him for months. How his fingers would feel, running through her dark, thick hair, pulling her close against his body, gently running his hands up and down her back. And what it would do to him when she'd finally engage in his passion and grip his blonde curls and lose herself in him, exactly like he was gonna do in her. Oh yes, this was going to be amazing. He sighed, almost dazed.

"Sir? Your tea?" The young girl, probably still going to high school, pulled him out of his daydreams and served him his drink.

"Thank you, Stella" He flashed her a smile and the girl blushed furiously before quickly making her way back.

Taking a sip of his tea, Jane figured that now Lisbon was likely to be long done with her workout, had probably gotten ready for the day and was starting on her breakfast. This seemed to be the excellent opportunity to do something nice for her. He'd buy her favorite coffee and some bear claw and doughnuts and go over to her place and surprise her. And then he'd use his irresistible charms to talk her into spending the entire day with him.

Satisfied he took another sip. Yep, this was a great idea.

"Back there is a little booth, let's go."

His hearts sunk. He'd recognize the voice over million others.

Turning around he saw Lisbon, together with wonder boy from earlier strolling towards the other end of the café.

"A cozy one, Tessie," Jane heard wonder boy say and couldn't quite believe his ears. _Tessie_? Really?

Lisbon laughed heartily and smacked him gently on the arm, before she let the guy wrap his arm around her shoulders.

He needed to know who this guy was. Her new boyfriend? An old ex boyfriend? Distant family? Or a potential love interest? Or worse, her secret husband of many years with whom she'd children with and was therefore unreachable for Jane?  
Alright, now he was losing his mind.

Deciding he needed to know before his mind played any more tricks on him, Jane stood up, took his tea and went over to them.

"Hi Lisbon, fancy seeing you here," he said confidently.

Turning around she watched him surprised. "Jane? What are you doing here?"

He shrugged. "Been enjoying my day off and this great tea," he said, turning to the guy still had his arm wrapped around Lisbon and she didn't make any attempt to remove it.  
"Hi, I'm Patrick Jane," he introduced himself, reaching with his hand for the other man's.

"Jacob Morgan," he said, smiling back and Jane almost got sick when he noticed the man's shining white teeth.

Sitting down with them, he took another sip of his tea. "And you two are…?" He wasn't even near sounding as casual as he wanted, was he?

"Oh no," Jacob Morgan answered laughing, "Tessie and I are friends. And you're this pain in the ass of a consultant she's gotten herself, right?"

Shocked, he turned to look at Lisbon. "Pain in the ass? You wound me, Tessie."

Lisbon had the tendency to blush furiously, before her eyes narrowed warningly. "Jane, don't call me that."

"But he is allowed to?", he asked pouting.

While Lisbon rolled her eyes, Jacob Morgan laughed. "So, Patrick, tell me about how you've gotten yourself a broken nose during your last case."

Jane decided, he really hated this guy.

"Well, you see, Tessie here was as uptight as always and wouldn't see-"

"You know what, Jane?", Lisbon cut him off, sounding angry. "Why don't you go back to where you came from and let me enjoy my day off from you. God knows I deserve a break."

And just like that he broke his heart into two. Usually, words she spoke out of frustration didn't even reach his ears, but now that she was in the arms of another, admittedly handsome guy and not moving out of them, they suddenly did something to him, because maybe she actually meant them this time. Maybe she really wanted a break from him and rather liked wonder boy's company than his.  
Holding up his hands in surrender he got up. "Alright, alright," he said, masking the hurt. "I'll see you around."

When he reached the door, he turned around a last time.

At least Lisbon was smiling now, even if it wasn't for him.

Somehow, today really wasn't his day.

* * *

He felt miserable. He still didn't know what kind of relationship Lisbon and Morgan were having and if his goal to be with Lisbon was even further away than he'd imagined.

Step two had been to make her smile at him or at least because of him and all he had succeeded in the couple of minutes they'd seen each other today was make her angry at him.

Damn.

He was really even more out of practice romancing a woman than he'd have thought. Or maybe it'd have been easier if the desired woman wasn't actually Teresa Lisbon, because he knew he was a charming, handsome guy and usually women just needed the very sight of him to fall at his feet.

Sighing he thought about his next move. He needed a plan how to persuade her into spending time with him. Noticing people coming out of a grocery store he instantly got an idea.

Grinning rather largely, he jumped out of his car and made his way into the store.

They said the way to a woman's heart is through her stomach, didn't they?


End file.
